Save the Twinkies

The future looks bleak. Some people are depressed over the election results, there are wars and rumors of wars, we have constant threats of terrorist attacks, and there is a sex scandal in Washington (imagine that).

We have faced all these crises before and survived but this time we may have to do it without familiar comfort food to get us through. Yes, my friends, I’m talking about that little yellow sponge cake with the white gooey middle—a Twinkie. It probably has 982,000 empty calories without an ounce of nutrition but it tastes o-o-o-h so good. How did we get through childhood without Twinkies and other Hostess products such as Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, and Snowballs.

It has been said that Twinkies are indestructible and can survive forever. One even showed up in the movie, WALL-E, a few hundred years in the future. About the only thing that could cause the demise of the Twinkie is if production of them suddenly stopped and the recipe lost forever. Well, the end of world may be near (remember the Mayan calendar—12.21.2012 = 0) for production of Twinkies is scheduled to end in the all too near future. Could this earth-shaking event be what tilts the earth off its axis and dumps us into oblivion?

I can personally testify to the fact they are indestructible. Once I was on a canoe trip when the canoe carrying our snacks overturned. Our immediate response was to yell, “Save the Twinkies!” as we saw them floating down stream. It was only later I thought I should have inquired about the human occupants first. All other snacks were lost but the Twinkies, tightly sealed in their see-through packages, were unspoiled by their dunk in the creek.

As sad as it is, we may have to find a substitute junk food unless someone can find a last minute way to SAVE THE TWINKIES.